"Something in the way she knows, And all I have to do is think of her."

Today's quote comes from a friend, who recently sung this song in front of me (the reader should just look up the song, cause I'm not telling). Not to say it was for me, I don't know, but it was a soothing to hear, soothing to soak in. It reminded me to not fret, to cease panicking. It reminded me that in the end, everything would work out. It half has.

Negativity gets the best of us sometimes. It gets the best of me. Often it overpowers me in times of frustration and the feelings of a loss of control and understanding have occured-- as if a mini earthquake has destroyed my little castles.  It can become an overwhelming force leaving us as victims in its wake.

"Anger always comes from frustrated expectations"

~Elliott Larson 

My life today is balanced.
A research topic was picked. In fact it was really easy. I owe that to two of my fellow graduate students who over the past days have been tremendous ears and for asking the right questions. There is so much off my shoulders knowing that is decided and I am not being pressured to choose. I am pleased with the people I'll be working with (aka advisors) and I think the topic will be interesting enough. At least the topic is mine and I am it's.

My apartment is immaculate. It is practically sparkling. My bed is made, my laundry is folded (soon to hopefully be put away), my counters bleached. (Call me weird but I have always liked the smell of Chlorine. Swimming pools anyone?) My dishes are washed, my trash is gone, and everything is in its place. Harmony exists here, around me in pure cleanly bliss.

My checking account is in order. I am resisting the urge to spend. I hope to continue this til May. I need to avoid it. I need to get myself back in the world of debit and out of the world of credit. I will make it out. I will control my spending.

Furthermore, I've been slightly more forward with one of my friends. To my happiness they haven't backed down but met me with the same forwardness in return. I am making new friends--friends away from the ones I developed in the past few months through a guy I was seeing and am no longer seeing. It is always funny how crisp I can remember some initial meetings, while others I can not recall despite how hard I try.

I am encouraged today. The weather was pleasantly warm.

Sure the pressures of success of failure are heavy. Sure my romantic life isn't where I'd like it to be. Sure the earth sucks, otherwise we'd fall off...

But.

But getting out of bed isn't so bad all the time. I will be burned, I will be hurt, I will cry---but I will also gain, feel happiness, and laugh as if everything is a comedy. I'll dance and play and work and strive.

One day I hope there will be a man, who will be everything I want. I just hope he is willing to accept me fully with all my faults and vices. At least right now I have friends who love me regardless. That is something to be thankful for.

I believe negativity shows our ugliest sides. It is a public display of our insecurities, our fears, and our sorrows.

I shall end on a quote about harmony that I really liked:

"Harmony is pure love, for love is a concerto."

~Lope de Vega