"You could be second runner-up Miss Ohio"

I had to go in early this morning, due to some last minute edits of our lab reports. It was purely business and we all chatted about various things. One of my peers brought up the Royal Wedding and how she wanted to see the brides dress. Naturally I made a bitter comment of sorts-- as I hadn't seen the Wedding.

Quite frankly, I missed this "glorious event" for several reasons. The largest reason? I simply didn't care, thus I didn't look up times to watch it. The Prince getting married is the least of my concerns. I'd hate to have everyone in the world watching my wedding, personally. 

As I escaped the oppressive clutches of our overly anal professor for the semester, the comment was made that I should be okay with myself before I can expect anyone to also do so.

The truth of the matter is, while I like myself and the qualities I posses, others don't. This often leaves me baffled and depressed as I feel I have a lot to give to people and a lot I wish to give to people. I have yet to figure it out. Perhaps I fail to take initiative? I don't want to seem overly needy. I must admit, people make me nervous, they always have. Things would be better if they actually spoke their minds from time to time...

Overall I'd say I have a certain level of intelligence, I am attractive enough, and though I like a fair amount of time to myself I do enjoy good company. (Perhaps that is it.... only certain people are good company.) The worst thing I find about social situations is often I find myself out of the loop. I don't pick up on modern references to celebrities, singers, events etc. While this inadequacy is bothersome, the idea of wasting my time remembering such things fails to appeal to me. My dislike of "in" things may stem from this discomfort of not being in with the times. I hate the expectations of what is cool. Prime example: The Beetles. I'm not going to deny their place in musical history, I just never found their music appealing. This is quite the crime in many social circles as the Beetles have the set "great music" status. (They are okay...but I'd rather listen to something else most of the time.)

Maybe I just have an overwhelming desire to be individualistic, but I also long for companionship. These conflicting goals have given me a great deal of grief as I try to make friends with people. Making friends--- what a necessary and challenging task! 

I'm cool in my little world.

One of the qualities I like best about myself is the ability to see potential in things. (Under my depressing shell I have a great deal of optimism.) Today as I was gathering my garbage I realized the stems I had cut off the end of the daisies I bought several weeks ago were dry and would be perfect to act as braces for my beautifully growing bean plants. I am resourceful. I don't think like other people (which sometimes is a pain in the ass when I wish to explain something--it's like translating languages where all the words in your language don't exist in theirs). This enables me to see things from a different angle, often resulting in odd suggestions. 

Current things bringing me joy:

• My bean plants and their new, quite gorgeous leaves (such elegant shapes!) I've actually thought of growing them through the winters as well as I find the plant to be quite pleasing to my eye.
• My Hypoestes who have spent a year with me now. (Now with larger and more vibrant leaves!)
• The threat of slightly warmer weather. 
• Weird Al's song "Whatever You Like" <----- check it out!
• MG's awesome mustache. I hope he never gets rid of it. Though he's still cool in my book without it.
• Upcoming Cinco de Mayo
• Finals being over by Wednesday (I could scream for joy off of roof tops about this)
• Avoiding my credit cards like the plague (can I make it to the 10th? Unlikely, since I'll need toilet paper)
• Sunshine! (God knows I love rain, but a break in it is super nice)
• My sister's future husband potentially landing a job
• The level of cuteness that my nephew at such a young age has obtained. 
• The quirkiness that is the musician James Blunt
• Hearing from my Tulsa girlfriend 
• Getting to see an old friend and his wife soon
• The guitar playing of my dearest wolf

(That might be enough for now) 

Have a kickin' weekend.

The Twitter Bug

I recently (very recently) signed up for a Twitter account such that I could potentially win some Roy Orbison paraphernalia.

I must admit, I've never understood the whole Twitter thing. It makes no sense to me. However, I have decided to use it as an outlet for my random thoughts I have throughout the day. These thoughts are along the lines of interesting from my point of view and gives people the idea I have some sort of ADD or ADHD. This seems like a decent idea for many reasons.

1. Only people who want to know random (likely uninteresting) thoughts will actually be bothered by my random thoughts.
2. I will appear less talkative with a new outlet. Whoohoo!

The funny thing is that people think I'm talkative... bahaha! I enjoy a great deal of no speaking. I cannot help if you are the first person I meet that day....

I will try to use my blog to tackle greater thoughts than I would expect one to find in my "tweets". Til then cross your fingers I win the Roy O. goods!

" Started out all alone, and the sun went down..."

This is very much my favorite of the Heartbreakers variety. 

Since I've graduated high school I have felt that in a way "I'm learning to fly". 

I haven't a clue what exactly I wish to address with this. I guess in a way I'm still learning. 

I am trying to remain hopeful. There is much happiness in the world. 

"More than this Baby, I hate days like this"

Being at it has been a long while (or so it seems) since I last wrote, I decided as I wait for edits to a monster of a lab report to at least write some (as if I haven't had more than enough time to do so with the lab report).

Lately the semester has picked up. I am overall frustrated and tired with the semester. I think that holds true for many of my peers as well. This week alone I've scheduled a midterm, a computer project due, a lab report due, a homework set due and a presentation to put together. I won't even touch my research until the last thing is done this week. Sadly, once it is all done, there is yet more to do. I look forward to a week of academic freedom. Sometimes I want to quit and go categorize beetles. Beetles like the ones in the movie the Mummy. Ah Beetles....such beautiful bugs.

Outside of school I am still attempting to win over a rather confusing gentleman. Furthermore, I have developed more friends in the area. It is encouraging. I enjoyed a nice walk with a few the other night. It was nice to have such a beautiful night, and I enjoyed it barefoot and in shorts. Again it is cold and I feared for my more tropical climate plants and had to bring them in again.

I had a nightmare within the past week. When I am really stressed out I commonly have dreams of smoking, despite the fact I have never smoked in my life. In my nightmare I could not find my cigarettes, and as a result I woke up even more stressed and increasingly frustrated.

I am looking forward to my sister's wedding soon, however I am also fairly stressed about it as I will be missing a week or more of class along with the long commute and taking my break between spring and summer classes in a high stress, wedding planning setting. Thankfully this will only happen once and perhaps in the middle of the summer I can take a short trip to the mountains and breathe in the fresh air in the quietness of nowhere. I have been longing to drive to the state park I went to when it was much colder over winter break, however I've been far to busy and gas prices have been much too high.

This month I am trying very hard to avoid using my credit card. I already turned down going bowling. I am sure there will be many more sacrifices to come.

I have been stuck in a few books of late. I am about a third the way through Flatland, have read two to three chapters of The Fountainhead, and have touched Frankenstein. I have to admit, reading Flatland has frequently left me offended as the author is from a different time period and has a different view of women. It is interesting how he describes the women in the book to be of even a lower class than the lowest class and terribly dangerous. It is hard for me to believe his views of women were held across the entire culture of his time. Then again....teaching a woman in the Victorian era seemed to be rather frowned upon beyond a certain level of education. The other books I have not divulged far enough into to give any clear opinion of the authors projected views.

Lastly, I should sleep. In four hours I must arise, shower, and begin again. There is much to do, much to do.