Candles

I need to stop this burning the candle at both ends. Though really, have you ever seen a candle burn at both ends?

I haven't either.

Today I got my first grad level test back. I scored a 58/100. Glorious.

I remind myself that I am not a quitter. I am a fighter. When life throws you lemons you spite the world and like lemons. (For some reason that sounds incredibly funny at this hour.)

I guess this is my wake up call. I'm playing with the big dogs now. My old (lack thereof serious) study habits aren't going to cut it. I cannot just sit in class and soak. I must dig.

There is so much to put together in my life right now. I have been unfocused for far too long. Focus Erica.

Coming back to candles (for I know I'm rambling but I have to relax if I am to sleep)....I like them. I like candle lit services. What this has to do with my study habits beats me.

Perhaps I need to stop living like a candle. I burn and burn and burn and burn and burn and burn and burn. I sit and wait while my life evaporates slowly----and I melt to the point of nearing a point where the wax spills everywhere. How does a candle burn slower? I have never explored this question, but I guess a better question would be how can I live my life so that I am not evaporating from both ends?

Time management. What an awful concept. (I've never liked it and my mother has been screaming it at me since I was twelve.)

Focus Erica.

Things I need to focus on:

1. School: despite how I really want to live the undergraduate life I never had....I must focus better on my schoolwork. I cannot afford another defeat. I do not want to cut myself off from the prize. I am here to learn.

2. Faith: God and I are slowly becoming friends again. Though I'm sure he's twisting my arm somewhere....

3. Social life: I need to give this more focused attention but less time I believe.

4. Cleaning my apartment: for as much as I wish it would clean itself...

Back to candles. Burn bright or burn dim? Hmmm.

I hope I dream of candles tonight out of optical systems. I will fade into the deep darkness focusing on the flickering of their beautiful flames.

I really should become full fledged Orthodox...for they have candles.

"This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

God, people are greedy.
(If you missed that jump since I'm exceptionally scattered tonight--- A candle does not lose light in lighting another candle, yet we as humans tend to want to store up our light (goods, services, faith, etc) as if it were shared we'd somehow have less).

All things good tonight would be lit by candle light. Sadly I hardly have any candles. :-(

Anyways bed, candle dreams, and a glimpse into the scattered brain of the CagedBird.