"I play it off but I'm dreamin of you I'll keep my cool but I'm feigning "

A friend of mine, who in the past month or two had a break-up came to a great realization this past weekend. He realized that the girl he was involved with could not be the sole source of his happiness and it was unfair to expect her to be so.

As I experience March free of boyfriends (though there is one I wish I had.... but we won't go into that) I realize that without one, I have grown to remember the many things that have brought me happiness. Happiness that isn't tied to any individual.

For example in my depression of sorts I bought far too many plants. I can say I do dearly love my plants. I have taken great care to nurture them to grow their very best.

Another example: In speaking to a female friend of mine I remember stating how relaxing folding paper was and how much I enjoyed it. I finally ordered myself some basic paper to fold with.

I have come to realize that what I am going to grad school for excites me, intrigues me and challenges me but it is not my heart. My heart desires art, nature, music....

However, I often feel guilty in pursuing these things that enrich my spirit. Usually this is when I should be doing work. Quite often I'd rather paint, draw, garden, write, dance, run, feel the wind across my face, listen to the rain and learn that song I want to sing to a man I'm in love with on my ukulele. Despite the guilt, I know that these things along with my peers, keep me sane.

We must remember that life is so much richer if we include the things we enjoy. Art reminds me that beauty isn't reserved for perfection. Quite often the beautiful things in life are not sharp edges ( I often think leaves are the most perfect shape ever) or perfect even numbers. The world is so irrational and so breathtaking!

I hope that I will marry a man someday who has hobbies that greatly enrich his life.

For now I want to run to the App Mountains and breathe the clean fresh air. I cannot wait for perfect painting weather. I have the urge to run and laugh and play in the rain. Cats, I've got to get one of those.